Giving Thanks, Sort Of

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so of course most of us feel compelled to give thanks, even if we have to force ourselves to, or think long and hard about something to be thankful for. Sometimes worries in life and grief simply outweigh our feelings of gratefulness. Yes, I can say the words and acknowledge my blessings, but God knows what I’m also thinking…

Thank for this meal…that costed five times more than it should have.

Thank you for my job…that is exhausting me.

Thank you for my kids…who keep me up at night in worry.

Thank you for providing a home…that isn’t as good as the neighbor’s.

Thank you for a warm house…that will cost me an arm and a leg to heat.

Thank you for good health…that could turn bad at any moment.

Thank you for my grandchildren…okay, they’re pretty awesome!

Yeah, God has his hands full with me. I’m going to be spending a lot of time in purgatory to burn off all the sarcasm and complaints before I ever make it to heaven.

I think the running theme in my life is, “Yeah, it’s nice, but it could be better.” I should be happy with how fortunate I am. There are people on the streets with nothing. There are people dying of cancer. There are heartbroken people. My life really isn’t that bad. Yet….

Sure, I’m keeping my head above water today, but what about tomorrow? I’m living on a fine edge and could fall either way. Just one more unexpected expense, and I’d have no savings. Just one injury or illness, and I wouldn’t be able to pay the bills.

Thanks for providing everything I need…but will you still do so tomorrow?

So, while more angelic people are saying thanks, writing poems, doing interpretive dances, and singing songs about how grateful they are, I’ll be giving thanks with an asterisk attached.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, have plenty to eat, good people to spend it with, and can give thanks, even through gritted teeth.

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