Remember when I wrote that I wasn’t going to make this blog so personal anymore? Well, I still intend for that to happen, but it’s so therapeutic to write out what I’m thinking and going through right now. I could go on a comedy tour with the material I have of my soon-to-be ex-husband’s ridiculous affairs, but I could poke fun at myself too.
To be honest, our marriage wasn’t the greatest for quite a while. We were incompatible from the get go. Isn’t it crazy what we put up with for appearance’s sake? No, we didn’t fight like cats and dogs, but we are two very different people, with different values, political beliefs, interests, and pretty much everything else I can think of.
The Yin and Yang thing is a lie. Marry a friend. Marry somebody you like and admire. Marry somebody you share a lot in common with. Marriage shouldn’t be a battle to fit into somebody else’s world or have them conform to yours. You should already be living in the same world together, seeing the important stuff the same way.
That doesn’t mean you have to marry your clone because I sure wouldn’t want to be married to a flake like me, but whoever you’re with should bring out the best in you, naturally, without the aid of counselors, medication, alcohol, chanting, aromatherapy, the sacrifice of virgins, or whatever. If it takes any of those things, you’re with the wrong person. Marriage shouldn’t be THAT hard.
I wish I had learned all of this 26 years ago, but life doesn’t work that way. You have to learn the important stuff the hard way, at least that’s how it’s always worked for me. I’m a slow learner I guess.
Honestly, right now I’m looking forward to the rest of my life. There’s so many opportunities I have now that I didn’t have as a married woman, or I should say as a woman married to the wrong person.
I know it sounds like I’m trivializing the demise of a marriage, but it’s the best thing for both of us. We were destructive to each other.
I’m so looking forward to being honest about myself and with myself. I’m much better than how I’ve been. There’s good stuff inside here that couldn’t get out from beneath all the nonsense.
Maybe someday I’ll be with the right person, and we bring out the best in both of us. Until then, I have my cat. He loves me, most of the time. I think.
Seriously, I am so thrilled to be me again. It feels great. I’m not delusional into thinking being on my own is going to be easy, but I’m okay with it. I’ll get by.