Now What?

Last week I finished my degree at Oregon State University and I have mixed feelings about it all.  Finishing didn’t quite feel the way I thought it would.  I thought I’d have a burst of energy, relief, and happiness but instead I ended on the note of enduring the most difficult final exam of my life and 30 minutes later my grandson was at the house for me to babysit.  Just your typical college graduate!

When I went to my commencement in Oregon a couple months ago I felt the joy and the sense of accomplishment then but now reality has hit.  For one, I’m going to miss school.  It’s been a big part of my life for the past 4 1/2 years.  This is a big change in my daily schedule.  I went from operating at high-alert to not knowing what day of the week it is.  I honestly didn’t know this morning.  Also, the heat is on.

I’ve got to prove to everyone that going back to college in my 40s was a smart thing to do.  I’ve got to land that six-figure income within the next 72 hours or everyone is going to tell me I should have become a nurse, welder, or plumber.  At least I am beginning to see jobs in my field being posted for the state of Illinois.  While the budget fiasco was going on, I had little hope in finding a job in this state.  There might be some hope now.  We’ll see.

If a great job opportunity opens up nearby I’ll seriously consider it but I am still considering grad school too. I just need a few weeks to ponder the direction I want to go because while I was in college I had about 10 spare seconds each week to think about what I was going to do after I graduated.  There just wasn’t any time or energy to prepare.

I still wake up every morning feeling like I’m up against a deadline.  My attempts to rest thus far have been pitiful and honestly I still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck after my last finals week (even though I got straight A’s, woohoo!).  I’m still seriously wiped out.

I am looking forward to going back to blogging and being able to participate much more in the community.  I think over the past four years most of the stuff I’ve written has been kinda, well, crappy. There’s a lot of things I want to try and share on the blog.  Still, writing is great therapy for me if nothing else, even if it is crap.

And yes, I’m still dealing with some medical issues.  I don’t know a whole lot yet at the moment but in the next few weeks I’ll know more.  Hopefully it isn’t crappy news.


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