I am absolutely overwhelmed by college at this moment. I doubt many college studens avoid the feeling. Moments like this make me wonder why I ever thought this was a good idea to begin with. I’m about to the point where I’m ready to buy a used VW van and travel the country and make an income creating YouTube videos. I hear the circus is no longer in business so that option is out.
Yesterday, I took a longer drive than usual to the grocery store but not that long because I had to be back to finish a zillion assignments. It felt miserable enjoying my time away from the ball and chain college has become. There is no relief anywhere, ever! Well, when I’m asleep I forgot how miserable I am and those first few moments awake. Ah….Then I remember and I want to cry. It’s horrible.
What makes it worse is that I’m on a different college schedule than most people. I’m watching others graduate and begin their summer and here I am, still struggling and the worst is yet to come. There’s term papers, projects, group projects (oh shoot me now), and godawful final exams. Does college really need to be so stressful? No.
It’s really just one class that is causing all my misery. The workload is insane. I’m devoting 80% of my time to that one stupid class and risking blowing up my hard-earned 3.9 GPA on the other classes that I can barely devote 10 seconds a week to. If I didn’t need that other class to graduate on time I would have dropped it but I didn’t have that option.
It’s been so bad that I forgot to even register for my last classes and almost didn’t get into them. I was the last seat and if I didn’t get in, I wouldn’t be graduating this year. I would have flown out to Oregon for a miserable vacation when I should have been attending my commencement. Thank God I got into those classes. Normally, I’m counting the seconds down to to be the first to register each quarter but it didn’t even cross my mind. I talked about taking this classes with people and I knew I needed them but it didn’t occur to me to actually register for them.
Today, I forgot how to count money. I was at the dentist office and my balance was $87 dollars. I’d count up to $80 and then I’d forget how to count beyond that. My mind went totally blank because I knew I had to rush home to do more stupid homework.
And now I have to finish this blog post and get back to slaving away. And I a signed up for this voluntarily. I want to cry.